Meet the Fockers () - Meet the Fockers () - User Reviews - IMDb
Greg: I'd say strong to quite strong. Kevin: You gotta strike while the iron's hot. Now's the time. Jack: Greg's a male nurse. Greg: That's right. Thank you, Jack. Parents need to know that in the pursuit of laughs, Meet the Fockers stretches this movie was great fot the hole family, some languege and violence but it was. Read Common Sense Media's Meet the Parents review, age rating, and parents guide. This movie has some strong language (including "s--t"), especially in.
Let's talk a little "Operation Ko Samui," Jack. What's he talking about, Dad? Yeah, that's weird, 'cause I thought there weren't any secrets I don't know what you're talking about.
Cat got your tongue? Hey, Pam, guess what. Daddy's planning a little covert operation in Thailand for the day after the wedding. Round and round we go, Jack. I bet everybody would love to hear about your rendezvous You know what I'm talking about.
Where the guy gave you the passports and the documents. Or how about your little phone call in Thai? Jack can't talk Thai.
Jack can talk Thai. Jack talk Thai very well. I'm sorry, Pam, but your dad is not retired. He's still very much in the C.
Greg, how come you don't like cats? I don't not like cats. I-I just-- I just prefer dogs. I mean, I'm just more of a dog kind of, you know--Come home, wagging their little tails, happy to see you kind of-- Jack: You need that assurance?
You prefer an emotionally shallow animal? You see, Greg, when you yell at a dog, his tail will go between his legs and cover his genitals, his ears will go down.
A dog is very easy to break, but cats make you work for their affection. They don't sell out the way dogs do. You gotta rush the net on defense. Don't be afraid of the ball.
He's gotta go for the ball. Here's what we gotta do. We're gettin' cold in here. If Florence Nightingale over here would play defense. Larry, I missed one shot. It was a big shot. Larry, keep floatin' where you are.
Denny, take the deep shots. Greg, nobody's expecting much out of you. If I set you up with the ball, can you jump up and spike it? I'd have to be pretty high, but yeah. The name was unnecessarily vulgar bearing in mind that it's main task was to set up the confusion of identity scenario and hey, I liked the dialogue in Goodfellas and Casino so its not a sensibility issue.
The name was used at intervals throughout the film to get cheap laughs in a way that was more suited to the "Carry on" films. It wouldn't be worth mentioning, except that so many scenes in the film seemed to rely on it for laughs even before his 1st name was revealed to be "Gaylord".
Although one or two of the set-pieces were funny, every single one of them was telegraphed way ahead. And so on and so on - you get the picture? All we were missing was Greg leaving a rake for someone to step on and wack themselves in the eye Imagine a comedy that combines the intelligence and sophistication of "Frasier" or the "Phil Silvers Show" with the slapstick of the Marx Brothers - well you ain't imagining this film. The only low gag they missed was not having the Thai honeymoon destination being Phuket!
This was a film that intermittently promised to develop into something good De Niro's poem to his dead mother for instanceand the cast did their best with thin material. In the end though it couldn't build on it's few bright spots - it could have been much, much better with a bit more effort.
Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote. Co-writers Greg Glienna and Mary Ruth Clarke, along with director Jay Roach, have managed to make a film that is often laugh-out-loud hilarious without ever becoming overbearing or obnoxious, the style of choice for far too many other comedies made in this day and age. Your call is very important to us. It will be answered in approximately minutes. Please press " " if you'd like to talk to a representative. Please call back-- Oh!
I don't know what it is, but there's just something about him that's a little off. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jack, you know we've been through this I think Greg-- he's a lovely young man. And, honey, Pam thinks he might be the one. She said those exact words?
I didn't tape record it, Jack, but that's the impression. What kind of a family doesn't have time to sit down for dinner? Please try to enjoy the weekend, honey. Both our daughters are in love. That's what I'm worried about. Oh, geez, I just realized something. Looking for something, Greg? Jesus, Jack, you scared me. I heard a noise, so I came down to see if everything was okay. I just-- I'm sorry.
I saw a light on, and I kinda stumbled in. I didn't realize-- That's okay. No, not at all. I mean, I mean-- I mean, this is great, though. I love this-- what you-- it's a cozy little nook. I noticed you were looking at that when I came in. It's an antique polygraph machine. Is that what that is? I've seen these before, but I never saw one actually up close. Why don't you try that on?
We'll have some fun. I'll show you how it works. You have nothing to hide. They're-- You'd be surprised how accurate they are. They can tell fairly easily if someone's lying or not. Now I'm gonna ask you some questions, and all you have to do is answer "yes" or "no. Let's give it a whirl. Did you fly on an airplane today? No, it was rare. It was a little rare for my taste. The needles are jumping. Have you ever watched pornographic videos?
No, no, I'm just going over some of my answers from the polygraph test your dad gave me. Well, did you lie to him? I mean-- Well, he asked me if we were living together, and-- What'd you tell him?
Your mother walked in Is this how you'd react if I told you he shoved bamboo shoots up my fingernails? Or does he hook all your boyfriends up to his little machine? Well, he doesn't need a machine. He's a human lie detector. Greg, my father was never in the rare flower business. That was just his cover. He was in the C. How could you not tell me this? I wanted to, honey, but it was strictly He's in the C.
He was a spy? He is a spy? No, he was more like a psychological profiler. They used him to interrogate suspected double agents in the company. I was scared of your dad back when I thought he was a florist.
It's wonderful to know that I've actually got a C. You're doing great, okay? This is a lot to take in, honey. Oh, I know, but you're doing fine. I'm not supposed to let the snake out of my cage.
I told your dad I wouldn't touch you for hours. Okay, I'm not in junior high anymore, so-- No, no, no. I want to try to respect his rules, okay? Uh, why don't you go ahead and get some sleep, and I'll see you in the morning. Pam told me she let you in on a little secret of mine last night.
Well, as long as you can keep your mouth shut for the rest of your life, you're in no immediate danger. I'm just being humorous. But the fact is, Greg, with the knowledge you've been given, you are now on the inside of what I like to call Let's go inside and have breakfast.
Not at the table, honey, please. You must be Greg. Nice 'do, nice 'do. I'll do the intros. Greg, this is my sister, Debbie. Nice to meet you. Oh, the bride to be. You can call me Bob Whoa, now, cut that out. You know, Greg's in medicine, too, Larry. Hey, why don't I get you a chair, Greg? So, you didn't want to go for the M. No, I actually thought about becoming a doctor, but I decided it wasn't for me.
Oh, he did more than okay. Why did you take the test if you weren't planning on going to med school? Well, I wanted to keep my options open, but in the end, nursing was a better fit for me. It gives you the freedom to work in several different areas of medicine.
Wasn't your friend Andy supposed to be here by now? I thought Deb told you. Andy threw out his back. He can't make the wedding. Now I have to reconfigure the whole procession. Um, Bob, why doesn't Greg stand in for Andy, be the usher? Bob, Greg'll be your second usher. Yeah, yeah, okay, sure.
Let's all finish up and get ready to go In that case, I'd better get upstairs Dina, thank you so much for breakfast. Why didn't you wake me up? Don't worry about it. Tell that to Dr. Torquemada in there with the Grand Inquisition. Go take a shower, get dressed and come back down. No, I don't-- Come on. I just-- No, I don't feel comfortable wearing your dad's underwear. Okay, well, go wake up Denny and borrow some of his. You want me to go wake up your brother who I never met Top of the stairs, turn right.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! What the hell you doing in here? I'm-- I'm Greg, Pam's friend. Were you just sniffing my boxers, dude?
No, no, she said I could come up here, maybe borrow some clothes from you. Do me a favor. Yeah, so, it's all good. Dad keeps you guys under a pretty close watch, huh? No, it's not that bad. Your little Pamcake's got it a lot worse than I do. You need some clothes. Yes, that would be-- that would be great. Glad to hook you up. Like what you done with the crib. Yeah, I think these ought a do it. All right, here you go, chief. Thanks a lot, Denny. Oh, and don't worry about the little covert op, all right?
I'll keep it on the lowdown. Larry, Linda, Debbie, Bob, honey. Now, I'm gonna activate the alarm. It'll go off in T minus seconds. I don't think I need a jacket. It's cold out, honey. Here, take Denny's jacket. Hey, Denny, I'm lending Greg your jacket, okay? Denny, how's the tux fit? Dad, uh-- What's that? I-It's a sculpture I found in Greg's jacket. This isn't a sculpture, Denny. This is a device for smoking marijuana. I like the top hat. Can I talk to you for a minute? Did I not clearly explain the circle of trust to you, Greg?
Mm, yeah, I think I got it. Then is there something you wanna tell me? Mm, l-l don't think so. Didn't we have a discussion yesterday in the car about this? You mean me and Pam. Yes, I would love to talk to you about that. We're not talking about Pam. We're talking about you. See, if I can't trust you, Greg, then I have no choice And once you're out, you're out. There's no coming back. Mm, well, I would definitely like to stay inside the circle. Well, then, tell me the truth. Jack, I don't know what we're talking about.
All right, now look, Focker, I'm a patient man. That's what months in a Vietnamese prison camp will do to you.
But I will be watching you, studying your every move. And if I find that you are trying to corrupt my firstborn child, I will bring you down, baby. I will bring you down to Chinatown. I thought we were going to Kevin's house.
This is Kevin's new house. Oh, this is a crazy house.
Not bad, huh, Dad? Maybe he uses marijuana for medicinal purposes. People do that nowadays. Honey, this kid has been lying to us from the moment we met him. Get in some quality time with the boys? Uh-huh, yeah, it was fun. Listen, I hope this lunch isn't too weird for you. Q at Best Man's" be weird? I was sure I told you. Kevin is Bob's best man. This is his place.
How does he know Bob? I was really lucky I was able to salvage this wood Kevin, the house is amazing. This is where Maybe you should have gotten married here. All right, the sun is out, the grill is hot and the pool is luke. If I can interest you in a swim and a little B.
Q, just follow me. It must cost a fortune to heat this place.
Meet the Fockers Movie Review
I don't know why I thought you knew. It-- It's not a big deal. If I can handle a weekend without sex and cigarettes, I think I can handle an afternoon with your ex-fianc? Now, for the floor that you're walking on, I chose this Bolivian wormwood. I think it works well in here. I have the Viking range here and the twin Sub-Z's. Yeah, they open up right there. Oh, I get it.
Yeah, kind of blend in. Are you a homeowner, Greg? No, no, I rent. So, things are going real, real well for you, aren't they, eh, Kevo? Gosh, things have been going so great lately. I got in early on some wireless I. What line of work are you in? There are a lot of Benjamins to be made now with biotech stuff. I don't have to tell you that.
Meet the Parents
You gotta strike while the iron's hot. That's great to give something back like that. I'd love to find time to do volunteer work. Just the other day I saw this golden retriever that-- He had like a gimp, and he couldn't really-- It made me feel terrible. I wish there was something I could do. Yeah, well, I get paid, but also it feels, you know, good too. So it's kind of an everybody wins. What are you-- You're like a Wall Street trader?
I mean, I'm willing to be painted with that brush. Yes, that's my day job. We got time, don't we, Jack? I want to show you what I'm really interested in. It looks like somebody got an "A" in wood shop. I whittled that out of beech wood. So what got you into, uh, "carpentering"?
He was a carpenter, and I just figured if you're gonna follow in someone's footsteps, who better than Christ? You're in good company. Well, I'm gonna head to the pool, but why don't you show Greg and Pam the gift?
Meet The Parents Script - transcript from the screenplay and/or Ben Stiller movie
I put a fresh coat of lacquer on this this morning, so bear with me with the fumes. The little holes are for candles. And then later, they'll collect rainfall. Or you might call it a "ho-puh. I'm gonna take it over to the Byrneses', and tomorrow Robert and Debra will meet beneath it to become man and wife.
And later, when they purchase a home, maybe it will grace their garden. Well, that's my sappy, romantic idea. No, not too bad. Which isn't bad, considering I carved it all by hand from one piece of wood. Time to start the barbecue, big guy. I better get back to playing host. Okay, you guys, grab your suits, and I'll meet you down at the pool. I don't even have a suit with me. The airline lost my bag and-- [Jack] Pamcake, let's go. Mom's got your suit here. You better get going. And, by the way, she just had the nicest things to say about you.
Yeah, we had some good times together. Boy, she is a tomcat. So, let me hook you up with some trunks, Gregger. I'm not gonna swim. I'm not taking no for an answer. What's it gonna be? Ah-- How 'bout a little of both, K-Dog? I think they call that "the munchies. Hit the ball, Kev!
Meet the Fockers
Show 'em what you got! You gotta rush the net on defense. Don't be afraid of the ball. Greg is afraid of the ball. We're gettin' cold in here. If Florence Nightingale over here would play defense. Larry, keep floatin' where you are. Denny, take the deep shots. Greg, nobody's expecting much out of you. I'd have to be pretty high, but yeah.
I bet you would, Panama Red. You gotta spike those, Focker! You gotta spike those! Fire it up there, Focker! It's only a game, Focker! Deb, you can totally see Voit backwards on your forehead.
Go over the song selection with Bob. Are you a Mr. You go through it, make sure it's all there? I just wanna make sure you're okay since hitting the spike heard 'round the world. I'm really sorry about that. I don't know what got into me, Iceman.
Is that a special thing Stop it. Top Gun was a very popular movie when Kevin and I dated. Do you want to be Maverick? Is that what this is all about? I can't be Maverick. He used to be, but we can change that. Um, can he be Goose? No, because Goose dies in the end. Honey, I don't really-- Greg, shut up. Jesus, Dad, you ever think of knocking? Not in my own den. What are you two doing in here? I'd say rounding - This is Greg's room, Dad. We're gonna use it for storage. Greg will stay in Debbie's room, and she'll bunk up with you tonight.
I'll be right up. They found your suitcase. Hey, Jack, I don't quite know what happened back at the tux shop, but if I've given you the wrong impression regarding Pam in any way, I'm sorry. I have nothing but the best intentions with Pam, and I-I just-- Actually, there's something in the suitcase here that I'm planning on giving her Did you flush this toilet? Maybe Jinx flushed it. I saw little Jinxy come in last night, and he took a little squat and relieved himself. Jinx knows not to use that toilet, and even if he did, he'd never flush it.
You're really on a roll there, bud. In hours, I'm having a wedding here, so I need my cesspool pumped now! That smell, Bob, is our shit. Focker flushed the toilet in the den, so the septic tank is overflowing. Jack, I told you. Focker, I'm not gonna tell you again! Jinx cannot flush the toilet. He's a cat, for chris sakes! The animal doesn't even have thumbs, Focker. Over by the tree, right? Not on the lawn! Stay where you are. I got my mojo workin' Just won't work on you I got my mojo workin' Just won't work on you Oh-- I know that's what I said I wanted, 'cause that's what I wanted.
It is a black Samsonite suitcase. What I'm saying is, do you think it's possible that the Samsonite people, in some crazy little scheme to actually turn a profit, made more than one? I am going to need your baggage claim number again. Could I talk to your supervisor? When he gets back, have him give me a call right away. It's a very important bag. I'm sure it is, sir. Don't ask me what it's for. I need you to do this thing.
Please, I'm in a time situation here, so just do it. So the name's "Greg Focker"? Greg didn't ace his med school boards. He never even took the goddamn MCATs.
Oh, Jack, that's what you had your sources check out? What this poor boy did on some test scores? I bet he doesn't even have a real nursing degree. A lot of these hospital workers are just pill poppers looking for easy access to ludes. We already know that he's been puffin' the magic dragon. I knew the little crack was lying.
Come here, little Jinxy. He did not lie to me, Dad. He lied to you when I thought you should know the truth. I love you too much to see you get hurt.
I don't care what your information says, Dad. Greg took the MCATs. All right, stand back.